Category Archives: About The Worlds

How to Fall in Love

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So, I’m seeing someone. I didn’t mean to do this. I didn’t set out to jump out of one relationship and right back into another. Oh no. I was super excited to date. I was going to date multiple people. A lot. I had no intention of falling in anything. And then he happened. I was (obviously) dating other people when I met him. He was like, third on the list. I will say that I knew in about .5 seconds after meeting him that I was in trouble, though. His pictures don’t do him justice and I didn’t even know the boy had blue eyes until I sat next to him in the booth at the restaurant. It was one of those first dates where you just click, you know? Like – nothing is awkward. Nothing goes too far, just far enough. I left thinking that I really liked him, but you know, I was in a groove. We kept talking, texting…and then the hurricane happened. EVERYONE I was seeing disappeared, except him. He came to stay with me because I was scared to sleep with my windows open (but couldn’t leave my diabetic cat so I had to stay). He took me to breakfast and driving all around town amidst debris and other hazards so I wouldn’t have to sit in a hot house. And when he finally left I knew there was something going on. Something that I wasn’t going to be able to deny.

Our first pic

Now, don’t get me wrong. I fought it. Oh, y’all. I fought it so hard. Bless his heart. The first three months of our relationship were a roller coaster of the worst kind. I broke up with him four times (once right after his dad passed away – and yes I know I’m an asshole). I asked him to stay, then go, then stay. It was a mess. But he wouldn’t quit. It was like he knew something I didn’t want to know or couldn’t see yet. Truth? He has a lot of baggage. Like, baggage that he should have put down a long time ago but kept picking back up even though he didn’t really want it and just ended up hurting everyone in the end, including myself. And, again, if you know me – you know I already went down that road. So, logic says: What are you doing, girl? You know you can’t handle this? Well, turns out – I can. Turns out, when someone is willing to do whatever it takes, anything is possible. Maybe the beginning of our relationship was so rocky so we’d have a solid foundation to build forever on? That’s my thought anyway.

It’s been seven months and sometimes the boy comes home and I am

I mean, how do you not fall in love with that?

literally just like, YAAAS THANK YOU, JESUS because I’m that in love with him. Because I’m that attracted to him. Because I’m that grateful that the universe let me have this. I know some people think we moved too fast, and they’re right. We did. We moved very fast. But both of us spent a long time with things and in situations we didn’t want. Long enough to know what we did want, and we just happened to find it in each other.

I don’t have a crystal ball. I don’t have any idea how this will end. All I know is that it is so nice not to have to wake up and decide to forgive someone for everything they’ve done to you. It is so nice to look at someone and not have to worry about your heart because you know it’s safe with them. It is so nice to fall in love again.

I finally watched The Greatest Showman last Friday. LOVE. That’s a whole other blog. But there is this song and it describes the beginning of our relationship pretty well. Me fighting against it and him saying just let it happen. Here’s the song with some odd writing on the bottom, but it’s worth it to see this scene. I guess I’ve written all these words to say this: It is NEVER too late to make a new ending for your story so if you think you can’t rewrite the stars, you’re wrong. You most certainly can.

40 Years

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For those of you who are unaware, my mom is currently fighting ovarian cancer. This is sad and the physicality of what she’s had to put her body through is sad. But she seems to be on the other side of it, and is most likely going to be cancer free. However, my mom also has early-onset Alzheimer’s (or that was the preliminary diagnosis from the neurologist anyway). This has been creeping on over the past few years – we thought her short-term memory was being affected by pain medicine she was on, but now she is on nothing and she has the mental capacity of a child. My mother…MY MOTHER who made me vacuum backwards to avoid footprints and wipe out the shower every night has stopped cleaning and putting/throwing things away. It was small at first, clothes all over her room (well, she just has a lot of clothes, we thought) or Christmas decorations still out in March (well, she can’t move the boxes herself, we thought). But when she stopped being able to calculate how much insulin she should give herself based on her blood sugar and would truly not survive without constant care…in steps my dad.

Dad kissing my mom bye for the day.

Jess Babich wasn’t the best husband. I mean, he wasn’t bad, but faithful he was not. There were fights, bad fights, and they almost separated. I honestly have no idea why they didn’t. In fact, I vividly remember my mom saying to me at one point, ‘If I ever got sick I know your daddy would leave me.’ Well, sadly, she’s too far gone for me to say to her: ‘HA! YOU WAS WRONG!’ And man was she wrong. I’m sure you thought this post was about my poor mom – and yes, my poor mom, but this post is about my dad. My dad who I always knew was a superhero. My dad who picks up all the chips when they’re down for everyone and always has really. My dad who, despite encouragement from me, refuses to put my mom somewhere where she can have around-the-clock care, because that is what she needs. It’s literally like the scene in the notebook where the kids are like ‘Come home, Daddy.’ And he’s all, ‘That’s my sweetheart in there.’ He doesn’t work anymore, retired early. His ONLY break is every other weekend when I go sit with her while he plays golf. That’s it. The rest of the time he is taking care of her every need. They’ve been married for 40 years and I continue to be impressed with his patience with her.

I guess my point here is, you just never know about people. Someone can seem like a great person but crumble when the pressure is on. Or someone can hurt you and still end up being the one thing you can depend on in the end. I hope we all find that person. Even if it takes a few tries.