Category Archives: About The Worlds

It’s Been a While

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Well, no New Year’s post this year. I’m slacking. Life has been hectic, but in a good way. The end of the year was non-stop from October through the very end of the year. From baby showers to work trips to festivals  – ya girl has been busy. Two monumental changes. 1) I’m engaged and 2) after 15 years with the same company on the same team – I now work for someone else.

First, Yes. That’s right. This girl who was all ‘I’m never getting married again’ is engaged. All I can say is, never say never. We’re going on three years together and as most of you know, had a pretty rocky start. I’m not going to lie – it took us over a year to truly, 100% get it together. But he never gave up. At one point I asked him to fight for me and this man went to war! And when he did, when we started to really build that trust and our relationship, I knew this was it for me.

The ridiculously long story of our engagement basically boils down to me rushing things (as usual). We go to a festival every year (EDC) and our ‘song’ is by someone who plays at this festival.  At the end of day one this year, he said, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t slip a ring on your finger during Slander’ and I said, ‘Me too, son!’ because I thought we were playing. And THEN he said, ‘But it’s at the house.’ You could have knocked me over with a feather. I truly had no idea he’d been working towards getting the ring or was even 100% on board with getting married. I wanted to go a day early or he would’ve had the ring with him. And he’d been kind of weird at the beginning of the trip, but never in a million years would I have thought it was because of that. Needless to say, we had a great night. When we got home the ring was indeed there and we got it sized and I asked him to wait and give it to me at a special time. A MONTH LATER (and after a barrage of bratty behavior from me) he finally got on his knee on a random Wednesday night and officially gave it to me. This man, this beautifully imperfect man, is the answer to every prayer I ever sent up to heaven. He is kind, thoughtful and so SO good at loving me, which to be fair, is not an easy task. I can’t even think about him without smiling. Nothing is perfect, but what we have is pretty damn close.

Just hanging with my fam.

Second, I have worked for MPS Group/Adecco for 15 years and fought to take over the healthcare brands, which they finally let me in 2014. On 12/31/19, Adecco sold the healthcare brands – and they took me with them. Y’all. I can’t express to you the emotions over this. Grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it. Like, I’m crying right now typing this. I am sad for the team I am leaving, 15 years is a long time to dedicate to a group, but I feel like I’ve been given this amazing gift to be with this company. An investment firm bought us and I hope they know they just made the best purchase of their lives because this company is full of people like me – who love it, believe in it and will do whatever it takes to make it successful. It’s a CRAZY ride, becoming your own company, and it will be going on for at least the next six months, but I’m so all in. They will never, ever regret bringing me – I put that on my Daddy’s life (and y’all know I don’t mess around with my Daddy’s life).

I still write, a lot for work and a little for me. Life has just been so crazy that I haven’t been listening to the voices in my head much and truthfully, they’ve gotten pretty quiet. I still have a story to tell, a few stories. But right now, I think I’m just going to focus on my own story – because for the first time in a long time, it’s getting pretty good!

One more thing – my fiance’ (gotta get used to saying that) had a song written for me for Christmas. I made a video with pics. I’ve included below for your viewing pleasure. Told you he knew how to love me. 😉

 

Mother’s Day

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It’s my first Mother’s Day without my mom. It’s pretty sad. I’m pretty sad. Like, don’t even really want to be reminded it’s Mother’s Day kind of sad. My son made me brownies (so many brownies! Lol) and got me a nice card, but I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. My Ex sent me a card and a gift card, which was really thoughtful. My boyfriend has been really nice, extra loving and snuggles. But the truth is, this kind of sad doesn’t go away. I heard once that grief is like a suitcase and you have to pick it up every day. At first it’s like this huge trunk you can barely lift and you’re dragging it all around running out of breath and thinking there’s no way you can make it. And as time goes on, the bag gets smaller and smaller until it’s like a fanny pack you hardly notice at all – but you still have to pick it up every day. I’d say mine is somewhere between a full-size suitcase and over-sized mom purse. Today, it’s the suitcase – one someone like my mom would have packed full of useless, needless shit when going on a week long trip because what if she needed the coral shoes?

Me and my mom on my 21st Bday

Honestly, in the end, my mom wasn’t even my mom anymore. There were flashes, but she wasn’t really there. And for a while before that she was just mean. Just awful. But now we know that is one of the beginning signs of the Alzheimer’s. If the cancer hadn’t taken her, I’m pretty sure that would have soon enough. No, I’m not going to her grave today. I don’t do that. She’s not there. If anything, I’d drive out to Bryceville to my granny and papa’s and sit down in one of their flowerbeds. If she’s wandering around down here, it would be somewhere like that.

But I hope she’s not.

I hope she’s giving this whole life thing another go. I hope she comes back to a middle-aged couple who’ve been trying forever to have a baby and then out of nowhere they are blessed with a baby girl and love the shit out of her. Love her and raise her with manners and kindness and she finds a man who loves her like my dad in the end the entire time they’re together. A man who she never has to look at and wonder if he loves her and a better daughter who never fights with her in the kitchen over a stupid boy because for the love of God, she deserves it. She really does.