Running with Abandon

I’m usually a planner. I like to know what’s going on, when, where, how… you get the point. I tend to think about something before I do it. ‘If I do X, then Y may happen, and if so, Z…but what if I do Z and Y happens? Then I’ll say X’ and so forth and so on. It is rare that I charge into a situation without a plan.It’s happened twice in my life. Once was the night that two dogs attacked my cat, Gracie. I was sitting in the front room of our old house and heard some commotion. Knowing my kitty was outside, I glanced out the window and saw them fighting. I flew out the door, through the yard, across the street and into the neighbor’s yard in nothing but a t-shirt and some undies. Looking back that was pretty stupid for a plethora of reasons. I could have cut my feet on something in the road or hidden in the grass. The dogs could have turned on me, or worst of all, some people could have seen just what Victoria’s secret was all about. But I didn’t think about any of that at the time. I just thought about my kitty who needed me. I’m sorry to say that she died two days later from her injuries. But I tried.

The next time that I literally went charging in was just a few days ago. The alligator that lives in our pond was heading right for the ducks that live in our pond and well, I wasn’t interested in hosting some National Geographic episode in my backyard. I ran toward all of them, totally prepared to throw myself into the water if the ducks didn’t fly away, which fortunately, they did. I don’t think I even need to point out all of the reasons why that was a bad idea.

Now while I am in agreement that these were both really careless ways to behave, I can’t help but yearn for that feeling of complete and total abandon. Looking only ahead, plowing forward at full-steam, tunnel vision for your goal and your goal alone. To be free of society’s expectations, life’s worries and heartaches would take away the fear that holds all of us back. While I can’t live like that, I can sure as hell write like that. And I will. Using adverbs as I please, starting and ending sentences with prepositions, and going crazy with the dialogue because that’s what’s really in my heart.

 

*Originally Posted on The Marvelous Misadventures of Mrs. T in 2011

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The Litter Box Trials – Final Scoop

I’ve learned a thing or two these past few months as I’ve tried to live a more grateful life, mostly things about myself. Overall, I’m a good person. My heart tends to be in the right place, I have a strong sense of right and wrong and I’ll stick up for kids, animals and old people in any situation. That being said, I am also spoiled, ungrateful and selfish. I think it’s important that I not only know, but can admit these things about myself. If I approach every situation with the knowledge that I don’t want to behave like a spoiled, ungrateful, selfish brat – then perhaps it will help my overall demeanor. Some things just are what they are. For instance, as an INFJ I am all about things being ‘fair’ and when I think someone’s getting one over on me I am going to freak out. That’s just who I am. I try and make sure things are fair for others and I expect them to be fair for me. I’m also an introvert (note the aforementioned INFJ) and need my downtime…period the end.

The main takeaway here is to be mindful of yourself, your actions and how that combination can affect others. Do your best not to take anything for granted, show those who deserve it your appreciation and remember that life is short and we are never promised tomorrow. If today was your last day, would you be proud to be remembered for the things you did? If the answer is no, maybe you should dig around in life’s litter box and clean out some of the shit. Fenway, and everyone else in your life, will thank you.

Fenway

Fenway – Waiting for you to clean your box

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