Christy Wulff

Write the story you want to read. I’ve heard that so many times and I think it’s time to start listening. I have six books in various stages of completion and while I love them all, I can’t seem to finish any of them. I should just keep the ideas and start over from scratch – but that’s so many words to just toss. Over 100K words. So.Many.Words. And some of them are really good words. Kill Your Darlings is something I also hear a lot. I’m supposed to be listening now, right?

Here is what I know. I know that I stopped writing because I was immersed in an imaginary world for so long that I almost lost my real one. I know that I didn’t make time to write because I was scared to let my husband out of my sight for fear of what he may do. I know that I have now made peace with that and no longer believe I can keep anyone from doing what they want, no matter how much I hover. I pick up book after book and read some but just lose interest in most, because they aren’t what I need. I need a story that grips me and characters with layers and a romance for the ages. I want pure, I-never-even-saw-him-coming love. I want my stories. So it’s time to write. I’m ready.

NaNoWriMo is coming. I’m going to participate this year and write 50K words of something. I’m not sure what yet. I’m not sure if they will be something that I have worked on in the past or something new – some ‘big magic’ that might hit me on October 31st in true pantser fashion. I don’t know. I just know that it’s time. Life is short. Write the book.

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There is a scene in Sister Act 2 that plays over and over in my mind when I start to doubt myself as a writer (so basically, like, all the time) where Whoopi is talking to Lauren Hill who is having a hard time admitting she is a singer and in this conversation she says:

“…Don’t ask me about being a writer. lf when you wake up in the morning you can think of nothing but writing…then you’re a writer.

I’m gonna say the same thing to you. If you wake up in the mornin’ and you can’t think of anything but singin’ first…then you’re supposed to be a singer, girl.”

While I do love to sing, what I think about when I wake up is finding time that day to sit down and write. I begin to scheme about eating lunch at my desk and getting Cam to bed early. I think about my characters and listen as they have funny conversations that play out in my head. I obsess over everything I write as I didn’t go to college and just recently learned that cannot is one word and can’t spell for poop. So, according to Whoopi (or the writers of Sister Act 2) I’m meant to be a writer. Now, to be clear, no one said anything about getting paid to be a writer, they just said that in my heart, to give my soul a voice and live my life to the fullest, I need to write. So…I write. And then I delete. And then I write again. And then I cry because it sucks.

But, I write because that is who I am, what I want to be and the legacy I want to leave.

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