We're Breaking Up

2012. You and I, well, it’s just not working out. I think it’s best if we just let each other go. I think we can both agree that things started off great, but then you couldn’t hide your true colors any longer and it just fell apart.

That’s how I feel; like I’m trying to recover from a bad relationship. I can’t put 2012 into a category. It wasn’t good, damn sure wasn’t good, but I can’t exactly say it was bad either.

It was the first year since 2009 that I haven’t published a book, but I did finish one and am now sending queries, so…

We lost our house, but moved into a nicer house for less money and I have an office so…

I didn’t get any promotions at work, but I did get placed on a task force and introduce a program that now the entire North American Marketing department is going to use so… yeah.

See what I mean? Not good, not bad.

I am older and starting to not like that. Even when I turned 30 I was like, ‘Ehh, whateva.’ But now, 33 is making me unhappy. My heart…is a mixed up place. Always has been and always will be. I maintain that I’m ‘more’ than most people. I’m not normal, well, to those who have to be around me every day. I’m a very normal, even somewhat tame, writer, but I don’t have any other writers in my family so they all think I’m crazy. Really. I’m surprised someone hasn’t tried to have me committed yet. I feel like they all give me sideways glances when I’m buried in a notebook, taking notes on the thoughts that come pouring into my head, or have to refrain from asking me if I’m okay when I start mumbling to myself and shuffle off to my laptop, my story, my soul.

I’m trying to keep my expectations for 2013 pretty low. In fact, I don’t have any at all. All I can do is wake up each day and view it as a new chance to get something right, which at this point, would be a damn miracle.

Advice from me to you:
  • Save more money than you spend. Really. You don’t need that Coach purse.
  • Keep your focus on who cooks your meals and pays your bills, the rest is just background noise.
  • Try something new, go somewhere new, listen to something new…life’s too short for the continuation of the mundane.
  • And finally, my personal favorite: It is never too late to become what you might have been.

Happy 2013, everyone!

Emmy's Heart

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I received the cover for the second book in my series yesterday. I love it! It’s really beautiful. Tina at Devine does a really good job with all of them, though. Not just mine.

I wrote something last night while putting the finishing touches on Emmy’s Heart and It moved me. Am I allowed to say that? It just came out. I didn’t think about it or think that I really needed something profound in this scene. That’s how I write though. I start with a chapter by chapter outline (thank you Chris) and then sit down and let the story play out in my head. This can often present problems as my characters tend to do their own thing and do NOT listen to me whatsoever. Anywho here it is:

“A thousand thoughts crossed my mind but none as strong as the thought of Cale. Above all, he was my reason for being. If the rest of the world fell away, along with everyone in it, I would survive if I still had him. But if he fell away, leaving behind the rest of the world, my heart would cease beating and my life would surely be over.”

Okay, it could just be me but, damn! I’ll admit it is a tad more powerful when read in context but clearly I’m not going to tell you what that is. You’ll have to get a copy of the book to find that out. The thing about it is.. I don’t think I love anyone that much. Even my Daddy (And ya’ll, let me tell ya, I love the hell out of my Daddy!) Sometimes, I wonder where the words come from. Another life perhaps where I sacrificed all for the sake of love? I often read what I’ve written and think, wow, I wish I had the nerve to do that or say that. Are all fiction writers like this or am I truly a most uncommon thing? (Well, no one else is going to say it to me, might as well say it to myself!)

~The Maldito Trilogy~
Emmy’s Song: Available through www.DevineDestinies.com
Emmy’s Heart: 2/15
Sarah’s Fate: Fall 2010