Category Archives: About The Worlds

Adulting. No thanks.

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Here are a few things that suck about being an adult.

Everyone asking you what’s for dinner. Like, why the hell is it up to me what’s for dinner? If you’re old enough to form that sentence, figure it out yourself.

Laundry: Psssshh, Fuck you, clean clothes. I’m ‘bout ready to be known as the stinky family.

Cleaning when you live with messy people. I HAD A C-SECTION FOR YOU AND FOREVER RUINED MY BODY HANG UP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES.

Animals. Okay, just MY diabetic cat who’s taken to shitting everywhere BUT his litter box.

Paying bills. All the time. Kiss my ass, JEA. This has to be extortion or a monopoly or there must be something going on with your $400 bills when I had a bigger house in Clay county and my bill was NEVER over $200.

Having to be somewhere ALL THE TIME. I have to be at work or I have to be home TO GIVE MY DAMN CAT HIS SHOT or I have to be up making lunches or I have to be cleaning or I have to be somewhere all the time. I don’t want to have to be anywhere. I want to lay in my bed REGRET FREE and watch every 90-day Finance ever made. But I cannot.

Being expected to watch the news. Yeah, I need to know what’s going on in the world…but I really don’t want to know what’s going on in the world. I want to live in a little bubble and be damn happy about it.

Getting divorced. Listen here, society. It really should be as hard to get married as it is to get divorced. It would negate the need for the latter in a lot of cases because this shit is ridiculous. I should just be able to write a strongly worded letter to a judge, sign something and boom. I’m divorced.

Trying to date after getting divorced. What the hell is wrong with everyone these days. No one calls anyone anymore, there’s all this texting bullshit and social media crap. Like, oh we’re not really in a relationship unless it’s ‘FBO’ that’s Facebook Official for all of you normal people who don’t know what the hell that is. It’s a joke. Just fucking love me. Just love me and be crazy about me and tell everyone you meet that I’m the one. Is that so hard?

Watching the people you love get older while you yourself get old. Walked into a hospital room tonight to my small, frail mother laying in a bed with what’s most likely ovarian cancer eating her alive from the inside out. I can’t even begin to describe this feeling to you. This helplessness. It’s like guilt and regret and despair all rolled into one and pushing my heart down in my stomach. My mom hasn’t been herself for years now. She had a bad accident and was taking pain pills that she should have never been prescribed for long enough to change her. Then it was one thing after another until her mind just, went. First it was her short-term memory. And we would get annoyed. ‘No, Tammy. I just told you…whatever we’d just said she’d forgotten.’ Then it started to get worse. My dad finally took her to a neurologist and they said it could very well be the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. Now this. Now this tumor or mass or growth or whatever the hell you want to call it. Truth? I think she’s just given up. Between the pain, and the diabetes and the confusion, I think she’s just…done. And her body is following suit. My dad is going to retire this year. She drives him crazy, but he’s so used to being her total caregiver now, I think he’ll be a little lost if she goes. I think we all will.

A lot of things suck about being an adult. But some stuff is okay. And I’m sure I’ll think of some. Tomorrow.

I Am Grateful

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I did a series a while back called The Litter Box Trials – An Experiment in Gratitude. Those posts can be found here, should you be interested:

The Litter Box Trails

The Litter Box Trails – The Ugly Truth

The Litter Box Trails – The Struggle Continues

The Litter Box Trails – The Final Scoop

Living In Gratitude: Most of all, be thankful

From ‘gratitudehabitat.com’

It was all about how my cat has super nasty poo, but I’m still grateful for him and how that could translate to the rest of my life. Fun fact: That same cat has developed diabetes and I have to give him insulin shots at 7am and 7pm every day for the rest of his life. Fun.

With Thanksgiving a day away, the disintegration of my marriage, looking down the barrel of some financially-tough months and a budding relationship that has reminded me how good being in love can feel – I thought it was time to refocus on all the things I have to be grateful for. It’s a lot. I have a lot to be grateful for. So why is it oh so hard to feel grateful?

One of the great human tragedies is that we are continuously focused on the bad things. Even when we don’t want to be. Pain is a stronger emotion than joy and this is by design, I’m sure. Pain is the only true motivator in life, the only thing that brings about real change. It should be the strongest emotion we have so we don’t stay stagnant in our lives and actually get up and make some shit happen. But it’s so easy to get lost in pain and feel sorry for yourself. It’s so easy to wallow, wonder why, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with them. It’s a barrage of questions no one has the answers to meant to drive you further and further into your despair, thereby defeating the purpose of this primal emotion because we’re now paralyzed with a sort of psychosis where we’ve invited this reality in which we clearly have it worse than anyone else on the planet. False. So False. Especially if you’re reading this on your smartphone in the good old US of A. We’ve been taught to revel in this pain. Hallmark made cards. People wrote self-help books. Pain and sadness became an industry and is perpetuated, if not encouraged, in today’s society. Am I off base here? Do you guys see this too? What a crock of shit. What we need are people to say to us:

“I’m so sorry (XYZ) has happened to you. You’re a lovely soul and I can see that you’re hurting. But you’re not going to lay here and feel sorry for yourself, because that’s not helping anyone. You’re going to focus on all the good things happening in your life and all the things you have to be grateful for. You’re not going to worry over things that happened yesterday or things that may or may not happen tomorrow. You’re going to get up, do right by the ones who’ve done you right and kill it like the boss you are.”

That’s who we need more of. The tough-lovers, the realists, the assholes. I’ve been taught many lessons in my life but the one I’ve most used is that perception is reality. Your world is what you perceive it to be, which just means you can choose to be in a good place. You can choose to be happy with what you have while you work for what you want. You can choose to see all the good things he/she does, instead of focusing on that one thing he/she said/did a zillion years ago/yesterday. You can choose to see the good. But you have to actively make that choice. And it takes a strong, self-aware person to choose to see the good and be grateful. I want to be strong. So I’m still working to choose to see the good and be grateful. I’m not a master, by any means. I fail all the time. But I won’t stop trying.

Today, I hope you see all the good things in your life. Today, I hope you stand tall and feel grateful for all the blessings in your life. Today, I hope you’re the strongest mother fucker you’ve ever met.

Happy Thanksgiving.